Dating after 40...

Like most teenage girls, I envisioned myself at age 40, happily married with children living out the suburban dream -- you the know the one: white picket fence, dog, cat, 2.2 kids and a husband with a briefcase. I’m now a 40-year single (widowed) mom of two teen aged boys. Will I ever remarry? That remains to be seen, but it is not on any of my obsessively written “to-do” lists at the moment, thank you very much. But I have recently experienced a kind of dating “reawakening.” I’ve learned that while the attitudes and motives of men haven’t really changed since I was in college, my perceptions have. When I was in college, every first date was potentially the first day of the rest of our lives together. I would always attach his surname to my first to make sure it “flowed”; after all, it would be a nightmare to have a rhyming name (no seriously, my friend Holly was once engaged to a man with the last name of Lollie, heh). It was my personal mission to find out his views on animals, children, his views on gender roles in the home, his work ethic, and his future goals. It was exhausting. By date number three, my girlfriends and I would giggle over Bride magazine, while planning the honeymoon and picking out china patterns. It didn’t matter if my potential groom’s tastes in music, food, and movies differed. I could learn to appreciate his interests and change for him. Wasn’t that what dating and marriage was all about? Didn't getting married mean pleasing your spouse at all costs? Besides, when you get married, you to get to wear a really cool dress, get lots of gifts, and then live happily ever after. Right?

If there was an Olympic event for being clueless and naïve, I would have scored the gold.

Now, however, that giggling little girl has grown up. And after learning too many lessons to count, this 40-and-fabulous single woman, is armed with experience, knowledge, and the confidence needed to walk into the dating arena yet again. Well…let’s hope so.

Will it be easy? Probably not. Will I always make intelligent choices? That’s an easy no. Will I get my feelings hurt, my heart broken, or be disappointed? There’s an excellent chance of that. But am I ready for one of the most exciting and interesting periods of my life? Emphatically speaking: Yes.

If nothing else, I’ll have some great party stories, and I plan on sharing all of them here: the good, the bad, the heartfelt and yes, even the embarrassing.

But the question remains: Can a 40-year old woman find happiness and fulfillment in the dating world? Stay tuned for the answer...